My Conception Journey

When we decided we were ready to conceive, I naively imagined that it was going to be relatively easy and that my body would naturally do what it’s designed to do. It didn’t cross my mind that I could go through what followed….

The reality is that from 2015, I embarked on an incredibly difficult & heart-breaking 4 years conception journey.

I suffered 3 ectopic pregnancies (from left tube each time!) and 1 early miscarriage. That became a journey of countless hospital trips, medical tests, investigations which ultimately came to a diagnostic of “unexplained infertility”. If anything, that made it even more hopeless and overwhelming as there is no answer to what is happening. At that point, the only medical advice I was given was to try IVF, especially given I was approaching 40.

During that time, I felt so lonely, angry, sad, scared and I was grieving. I felt that I was broken and failed my partner.

There is nothing preparing you for this, my whole world became about trying to conceive, understand how I could change things.

During that time, I changed and could never get back to the person I was prior to that 1st loss  …. But I couldn’t give up and after each loss, I was more determined to achieve my dream . The thing was I couldn't stop, I had to keep going, not just because the clock was ticking but because the perfectionist side of me meant I had to know I was trying everything and be sure I didn’t miss anything, plus I didn’t want to waste time. But that wasn’t always the healthy solution because that meant I wasn’t taking the time to be with myself and process all the losses. 

After the 1st traumatic loss and difficult recovery, I focused on preparing more consciously for my future baby. I saw a naturopath and herbalist which hugely helped me, changed diet, and tried to go for natural alternatives, went for acupuncture, read everything I could read on fertility, carried on with my fitness….It all helped on the physical side but after a while I felt stuck again and knew I was still missing something. 3 more losses followed from 2015 to October 2017.

That’s when I actually took a break to reconnect with myself (after the 4th loss), something had to change… I had to change and I needed to find “me” again, step out of this dark, negative spiral I felt stuck in.

I started to reconnect with myself and my partner, looked at my mindset, my energy, my inner blocks and also consulted a Spirit Baby Communicator. I strongly believe it all contributed to my successful pregnancy and I am convinced I couldn't have conceived if I wasn’t mentally and emotionally ready and carried on broken as I was. 

Ultimately, I followed my inner guidance, my heart, and did what felt right to me, not the doctors or anyone else.

My beautiful daughter was conceived naturally (from my left tube) and born just before my 40th birthday.