How Your Mind Can Hinder or Help Conception
I visualised and dreamt of the day I’d become a mum since I was a teenager, it was the most natural thing I knew would happen when the time was right. My worry at the time was more to find my soulmate than worry about conception. As I became older, I was already a mum in my heart, so to be quite honest, I was totally not prepared for Infertility.
After doing all the medical tests possible, given my profile: I was approaching 40, had adenomyosis and low AMH, suffered multiple ectopic pregnancies as well as an early miscarriage….
… I was diagnosed with unexplained infertility and the only option as far as the doctors were concerned was to go through IVF.
What the doctors fail to explain is that unexplained infertility means there isn’t a medical explanation to getting pregnant, it doesn’t mean there aren’t any reasons, and quite often the reason is a mind and/or emotional issue.
During my 4 years of Infertility, I did many things to look after my body which I am sure all helped:
Hormones tested ; taken supplements of natural origin and was followed by a naturopath; body liver and gut cleanse after 2 doses of Methatrexate; detoxed all beauty and cleansing products in my home; healthy diet; exercices; acupuncture on weekly basis.
Working with our body is crucial but working with our mind is as important and not talked about much. Conception is heavily influenced by a woman’s thoughts, beliefs, emotions and fears which means the mind plays a huge role in the fertility process. You need a healthy body and a healthy mind to optimise fertility.
How does our mind work?
Think of your conscious mind as the gardener of your soil (subconscious mind).
FACTS:
Our mind can actually impact our ability to conceive
A Mind-Body disconnection can hinder chances of conceiving
A stressed mind will create a stressed body. It is all connected!
Our conscious decision to become a mum doesn’t always translate into reality. Our Mind & Body needs to work in harmony to conceive as ONE.
The subconscious mind takes everything literally so it listens to what it receives from your conscious mind whether it is positive or negative (I am not good, I am too old to conceive, my body can’t conceive etc.). That means it can manifest success, abundance, health as well as failure, illness etc.
To put simply, in terms of infertility, the answer can lie in your subconscious mind… you wouldn’t be aware of it but the truth is, if your subconscious mind for X or Y reason feels it is not safe to conceive, then your body will listen.
The subconscious mind rules the body!
What blocks can we hold in our subconscious in regards to fertility?
You might consciously and rationally believe you are ready to be pregnant. However if your subconscious mind holds informations, emotions, beliefs, experiences, habits, negative thoughts, fears in regards to conception, your body will listen to it, protect you and go into safe/survival mode rather than conception mode.
There might be many different subconscious reasons that are holding you back from conceiving.
Emotions
We know that the emotional part of fertility is huge. It has been compared to the same level of stress as those diagnosed with terminal illnesses.
During infertility, we have so many emotions like anger, fear, guilt, sadness, despair, anxiety etc. It is a real rollercoaster.
When we accumulate all the negative emotions, our body stores it, and if it feels unsafe, it will protect you. The hormones will consequently be out of balance.
Negative thoughts, limited beliefs & language
Feelings & thoughts of inadequacy of being a mum, guilt , negative thoughts such as “I am too old, my body is not working, my eggs are too low, I cant hold a pregnancy…”
The language we use towards our body or our conception journey (Exple: I am too old, I am broken, It only works for others, I am “trying” to get pregnancy implies it might not succeed)
Fears
- The previous miscarriages/ectopic mean you are most probably terrified your body won’t hold the next pregnancy.
- Fears over birth
- Fears on how motherhood will change you, your body, your career, your life, your relationship, your finance body changing etc.
Unresolved traumas
- Issues from childhood or from your parents
- Previous losses
Woman who had past traumas or experiences related to conception (such as pregnancy losses) may find it hard to move past it until it has been processed. It will re-surface, trigger and leave them emotionally affected.
The Impact of stress
It is also well known that the adrenaline and cortisol released from the brain into the body when experiencing stress and anxiety can affect fertility because that will affect the part of the brain controlling the reproductive hormones regulated from the same place.
In time of high stress, your body will go into “fight or flight” mode and not conception mode.
The hypothalamus or pituitary glands will tell the body it is not safe to conceive.
“We’re not saying stress is the answer, if you relax you will get pregnant”
What we are saying is that “Stress in the mind will cause stress in the body”. It is all connected!
Nurturing the Mind-Body Connection in Fertility
The mind-body connection refers to the complex relationship between our emotional, mental and physical.
As we’ve seen above, it is crucial that our mind & body work as a team for optimal fertility.
Conception is a whole body mind and spirit experience and it all needs to be aligned and balanced to optimise fertility.
Unfortunately, when we go through infertility and spend a long time TTC, it becomes so difficult. It all gets unnatural and very “medical”, we get sucked in this spiral and not even told by doctors that our WHOLE body needs to be on board for this.
We often just end up disconnecting with our body and see it as separate. There is also a loss of trust because we feel that our body is letting us down. We often develop negative thoughts and beliefs towards it.
The womb that is supposed to be the loved and warm place of conception but it often gets neglected and an empty space. I strongly believe in the power of reconnecting to it, healing it and filling it with love so it energetically prepares to welcome your baby.
How to get your mind on board for conception?
I would say the following are all part of the process of getting your mind on board:
Process, release & heal from your emotions and past traumas/ experiences holding you back
Reconnect with your body (and womb specifically)
Find ways to manage your stress
Opt for healthy mind-body habits to cultivate calm and well-being
These are various techniques I have used or get my client to use. It is not about overwhelm yourself but do what resonates and feels right to you. The key is belief in what you are doing, practice and repetition.
Practice mindfulness – turning inwards is important. We spend so much time hearing advices, medical opinions, getting sucked in social media etc. that we often turn away from ourselves or become very negative. Spend time with yourself and give yourself time and permission to conceive is beneficial. Listen to what your inner-self tells you it needs. The answer is within us
Journalling to help process your thoughts, emotions, beliefs, experience is therapeutic
Practice daily gratitude
Breathing exercice is a massive tool to regulate the nervous system & promote a sense of calm and well-being. When you slow breathe and open up your breath, you signal to your unconscious mind that you are safe
Physical exercices/ Yoga provides both physical and mental benefits
Self hypnosis - it will help you feel calmer, relaxed and more in control, overcome limited beliefs, change behaviours hindering conception, eliminate fears and reprogram your subconscious mind
Visualisation - as we saw, your subconscious mind takes it all literally. By visualising, you showing your mind what you want to see/feel/do and what you want your body to do. You can use visualisation to improve fertility, meet your future baby, cleanse & connect to your womb
Somatic therapy such as EFT to work with the mind and body. It will allow you to go at the root cause of things and free you from negative thoughts, emotions & beliefs plus it will allow you to connect with yourself and massively reduce stress & anxiety . I see EFT as a door to your subconscious.
Any other therapy that resonate with you to help you process the emotional traumas around conception
Affirmations to reprogramme your subconscious mind - I would advise to first work on the limited beliefs before to add affirmations
Mind- Womb connection meditation
Conclusion
Whatever path you take - whether it is natural conception or via assisted method- your Mind needs to be on board and aligned to Fertility.
There are things you can do yourself and others would need a professional person to assist.
As a Mindset Fertility Coach, EFT & Hypnosis Practitioner, my aim is to work holistically with my clients’ Mind Body and Soul to optimise their chances to conceive. I believe no stones should be left unturned when it comes to Infertility and I know that by doing that, the experience of conception can be transformed in a positive way.
My goal is to investigate and discover the hidden blocks that could prevent you from getting pregnant.
I have various packages and therapies, feel free to contact me if you have any questions and I hope this page helped!